I feel like I have so much to say... So here I sit writing my 3rd blog of the day. Today has seriously been one of those days. One of those days when something is off. And that something you can't seem to put your finger on.
I have had so many different ideas to where I want to take this blog. My mind has been going around and around. I really want you, the reader, to know me... Know my struggles, my constant battles, my happiness for life. The ins and outs of my thoughts. I am a thinker... I think alot, my thinking keeps me up at night. Sometimes I wonder if I even got to sleep. I think about my family, my friends, my journey, and if I am on the right path.
Being on the right path is something I have truely been struggling with. I feel maybe I decided to go north when I was supposed to go south. I am on the right path to discovering true happiness... I question it everyday. I question myself. I doubt myself. I lack trust in myself. And until recently I felt alone. Lost in a great big world with no one. How can you feel alone when you are surround by the masses? A huge family, caring friends and coworkers, God. I had forgotten about God for awhile. Afraid to lean on Him. Afraid to ask for guidance. Not anymore. I will no longer allow myself to feel alone. I am never alone. He's only a prayer away.
People that know me might read this and say "Kendra she doesn't have a relationship with God.. and here she sits talking of one..." And you know what a month ago I would have said the same thing. A month ago I was a completely different person. A person who didn't need anyone to preach to her. A person who believed in God, but would only go to Him in times of great need. A person who didn't want to spend her Sunday mornings in Church. I feel differently now. I am in the process of building a relationship with God. Still not sure of how to go about it. But I learn a little more with service... and everyday I feel a little closer to Him. I now know I am not alone. He's all around me. I have to learn how to trust in Him and His plan for me. And I will and I am willing to take the time to learn how. I believe in Him. Its starts with that.
Hi Kendra,
ReplyDeleteYou barely know me, I am a friend of Carrie's. We have met once or twice and I have been praying for you for a LONG time. I am glad to hear that you are searching. I am thankful to know that God is reaching for you. I wanted to tell you that being in relationship with God is easy, it is the learning to be one of His after you have established a relationship that is the process. Similar to meeting a new friend. You meet, you have something in common, you then forever "know" that person. But to become their friend is what takes the work. Take the step Kendra! Pray and recieve Him, He wants you, He is calling you. Then the rest will be easier because you will have the Holy Spirit to guide you! No matter how hard you try, unless you take the first step, it won't work. You have Carrie, and a church body that is waiting to support you and teach you. I look forward to seeing God move in your life. Blessings to you! Tyffany