You.

The funny thing is.. As I think more and more about last week... I keep reminding myself that letting you go was a long time coming. Feeling a weight instantly being lifted off my shoulders as I walked with my head held high out of your house. Yes, tears were falling because I will honestly miss your company. You made me laugh, and filled the empty spot in my heart. The empty spot I allowed you to create. Nine months is a long time to be living a lie. I wanted so badly for you to want me as much as I wanted you... Nine months I waited, and things were great for the first month, then you decided you didn't want me. But I hung around... You kept the hope alive. Taking me to the movies, holding my hand, putting your arm around me... Kissing me like I was the only girl you ever wanted to kiss again. Showing me the affection I thought I was missing. I put friendships on hold for you, and I was even willing to let some of them fall apart. Lies and deceit was all I knew with you. One lie to this person, turned into two lies to that person. I am sitting here feeling free. Feeling... Not broken. It's funny because when I look back, I couldn't me more thankful, you opened my eyes to a lot. Made me aware of who I really am. Made me value myself, made me realize that even though my heart was in the right place my mind definitely wasn't. I wasn't seeing clearly. I wasn't thinking straight. I was ignoring all the signs that you weren't the right one for me. You are nothing like the right guy will be like. The right guy will value me as much as I value myself. The right guy will love me... And treat me with respect. You did none of that, but I allowed it. I continually went back for more. I allowed myself to feel alone, and sad. I thought that it was all part of the process... The process where you change your mind, and fall madly and deeply in love with me. It just wasn't the case because as we grow father and father apart the tighter I held on. You mentioned dating someone else... I don't think I have ever felt more broken, and for a month and a half... I felt sick to my stomach every time you would call or text me, but I always answered and I always gave in. Not this time... This time... All I have to do is remind myself... That I am the daughter of the King, and that means I know the Lord has someone perfect for me. Someone who will treat me like the amazing, funny, thoughtful, hardworking, Jesus loving, caring Princess God created me to be. I won't be an option, and I sure won't be the one doing the chasing... So from now on you will only be a memory to me. Only a time in my life that I had to go through to realize how lucky I am that the Lord forgives. I will not use this as an excuse.... I will grow and learn from it. My life will be better, so I thank you. I thank you for everything... You made me stronger... Made me more aware of myself, and my flaws. You made me aware of my temptations, and of the things I lust after. So today, tomorrow, and forever more... I will look back and smile because I have grown in this situation. I have changed... You renewed my love for the Lord, and my want to please only Him. He's all that matters. It's tough to follow your heart... But I will never regret doing so.