The Push

So over the years I have wrote about the ups and downs of my life.  I have wrote about my walk with the Lord, and finding love.  I have wrote about the things I love and the things I hate.  I have tried so hard to allow people just a glimpse into my life. I have tired to be as open and honest as possible. And I know that I have offended people from time to time.  I have found and lost myself plenty of times.  I love being about to express myself through writing.  I have found the most release being able to share, and just give a little of myself to everyone who reads this blog.  I have tossed around the idea of deleting this blog,  I got to thinking and this blog is mostly about a girl was searching for someone to love her.  And as embarrassing as that is.. I looked back at the posts, and realize all of those stories have led me to exactly where I am today.  They helped me grow and learn, and without them where would I be?  I definitely wouldn't be in my current relationship... I would probably be a giant man hating bad word.  I would be too beaten down to be open to a new relationship.  I would be angry and bitter.  I think that I would be to angry to really trust and believe in my relationship.  A girl lost and out of control.

So with that said, I am thankful. I am happy.  Really truly happy for the first time in a very long time.  I am excited for the future, and have a new energy to get things accomplished.  I don't think that I have ever had so much drive to get something done so I can move on to the next phase of my life.  School is my #1 goal right now... get that done... and finished.. so I won't have that holding me back from being with Aaron whenever I want to be.  Get that done... and a bunch of new possibilities open right up.

I am excited for what the future holds, more excited then I have ever been before.  You can ask all my close friends, and they will tell you... There's this new something about me.  It's crazy when you can see your life changing, and your not afraid of that change... But so excited you can't wait.  So here's to getting school done... the push I needed to finish something so important.