Yesterday.

I lay in bed thinking about all the ifs, ands, and buts of life. The ones of my life run through my head. I write them down. I type them out... I ask God about them. Pray for an answer to most of them. I still question myself. Ask myself what can you do to make your life better? Are you doing everything possible? And most of the answers are what I had hoped they would be... I am trying so hard to fix mistakes that I made in the past. Trying to change so that I won't make the same mistakes in the future...


I lay here thinking about God. Thinking about a conversation I had yesterday with two of my new found friends. Talking about baptism. Talking about me wanting to be baptized. Talking about me excepting Jesus Christ as my saviour. It brought a smile to my face, but its did something unexplainable to my heart. Its a feeling I have never felt. Not a weird feeling... a feeling of comfort- of peace. Actually those words don't even explain it... Talking to my friends about Jesus, and telling them things I haven't said yet... Things I have wanted to say. Things I have needed to say. I was waiting for the right time. And they were there ready to listen. I will never forgot yesterday. Yesterday.


I feel like I need to back up a bit. And talk all the stuff leading up to yesterday. I won't go back to far... maybe a few weeks or a month. It all started with my best friend. She asked me to go church with her to hear her sing. That's all it took. One time.... I denied it at first, fought it for a while, but God was reaching for me... Reaching for me with arms wide open. I missed a few Sundays after that... On February 13th... I asked if I could go again. I believe by then I was ready and since that day I haven't wanted to miss another service another chance at working on my relationship with God. Getting to know Jesus Christ. And now I want to know everything.

The weekend before Easter Sunday. I think that's the day I fell in love with Jesus Christ. The day I found a new love for God. A new love for the church. And I grew that much more thankful for my best friend. I cried during the service. I felt like Pastor John was talking right to me... I will never forget the feeling of Holy Spirit at work in me... My life is changing... Never again will I be the same person I was a few short months ago...

Easter Sunday. My first Easter ever at church. Definely something amazing happened. Sunrise Service. Sunday school. Normal 10:30 Service. Except it wasn't. There was something moving in the air... Pastor John message couldn't have been more clear. I understood everything he was asking. Feeling every bit like I belonged. Feeling emotions of pure joy. Crying tears of happiness. Really understanding the Jesus died for my sins. On Easter Sunday everything made a little more sense.

Yesterday, will be a day I won't forget. It was a Monday. And I was really ready to talk. Talk about Jesus Christ. I was ready to share my story. Share my love... Share the hope I have for my future. Talk about the trust I have in God. I was ready to talk about how I don't ever feel alone and lost anymore. I talked about how happy I am now that I know God has a plan for me... And I believe in that plan. So thanks Debbie and Jake. Thank you for opening up your hearts... You both don't know how long I have been wanting to talking about my love for God!