Questioning...

So this question has been bugging me all day... Is it EVER ok for a girl to tell a guy that she has feelings for him? And if so, when? I have asked countless friends, both guys and girls... And I have gotten mixed reviews. One friend stated, well "have you been flirting with him?" And I thought well I think so... In all honesty I am not the flirtiest person. I mean do I need to twirl my hair and bat my eyes at him?

Another friend told me... "why would you? He'll come around." And I thought to myself really? After 10 months of having a crush on someone, and wham he comes around? I don't know, but thanks.

I am always going back to if he likes you then he will pursue you. If he really liked me, then I am sure he would pursue me. Unless he's not sure I am interested. Yes, we talk more, have even hungout together. Things have changed. But I promised myself that I would not go back to how I used to do things. My heart matters more to me and having to patch it up again just doesn't sound appealing.

Maybe I am just getting tired of waiting around. I think right now I am the only one waiting around. I think this whole question sprung from my insecurities. I am afraid if I don't say something, he might choose someone else. He might decide that being my friend is enough. If I don't say something... But I always say something, and it winds up with me either sad or broken hearted.

I always play the what if game in my head... I say... Well what if he thinks we don't have enough in common... So I try something he likes... That didn't work out so well, but I tried. Maybe I should hang where he hangs... What if he comes when I am there... I am seriously out of thoughts. Until I realized it's not about my timing, and what I want. It's not about showing up and being in the same place he is. I am not in control. It's about trusting in the Lord with all my heart. It's about knowing that what ever He has in my plan is perfect. It's being content with everything He has given me. So I won't say anything to the guy I have liked for a while now. I have to trust in the Lord. He knows if he'll come around or not. It's about taking the friendship that He has given me, and enjoy that as much as possible. It's being thankful that I now have an amazing Christian friend that I know I can depend on... He makes me laugh... Who I enjoy being around... And more importantly God helped restore my hope in men.

Honestly, if I learn anything from this entire situation... It will be there are good guys out there. Guys who love God with there whole hearts, guys who treat you with respect. Guys who love their family and friends. So for that I will be forever thankful.