In Life.

Sometimes in life you don't get the things that you think you deserve. Like the guy that you have liked for almost a year now or an endless bank account over flowing with money. And sometimes you allow yourself to sit and pout. You allow yourself to get caught in the things that really don't matter. I do that, and for some reason I continue to do it. Things in life aren't fair, and God has His reasons. And the one thing that I struggle with is that God is allowed to put you through struggles, put you through the lowest lows... The one thing that I have to remember is that he doesn't do it because he's melicous or because he wants a good laugh. There's lessons to be learned. He's giving you the reasons to lean on Him. To turst in Him.

I know that my plan is all figured out... Where I am going to be in 10 minutes, and the months and months I have left to live are all figured out. The perfect man for me... the chance to be a great mother... Or perhaps none of that. I don't know and I will learn to be happy with whatever Christ gives me. The most important thing is that I continue to be happy in Him. Not in worldly things. Not in the things that won't mean anything.

I need to be able to lean on God. . . . all the time. . . . I need to do better at studying His word. And at loving HIM and everyone else.