East TO West

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man
I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest'cause
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from
You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to meJesus,
You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man
I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy
I find rest'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

By Casting Crowns

College, Basketball, and a little Laugh!

I have now been in college for 4 weeks and let me tell you... I LOVE it! I never thought that I would love going to school. I guess there's something about learning new things. I have been taking an English class, which is easy since I am a decent writer. And a Psychology class which I love as well. I am learning new things everyday. I even enjoy studying... weird!

I think I like my english class so much because there's a very handsome guy in there. Funny Story... First day of class I sit in the front row, and out of the corner of my eye I see someone sit down, but I don't want to look. I can tell that its a guy and that he might be cute. After about 10 minutes I finally get the courage to sit back in my chair a little, and BAM... I see one of the cutest guys ever. haha... Now he's not the normally musclely guys I usually think are hot... He's just your everyday guy. He has glasses and wears vans... seriously... Maybe he's the reason I have started to do my hair everyday... That't probably one of the main reasons I look forward to this class. Its only 2 days a week and we meet for 2 and 1/2 hours... My school schedule keeps me very busy. Right along with basketball practice or games everyday...

Basketball season is coming to a close atleast for my C team.. So far this year we are 9-4... which is really great! My girls have improved so much since the beginning of the season. You can tell that they are really enjoying themselves... I love to see the smiles on their faces after we win, or hear their encouraging words after a loss. I have created great relationships with all of them, and I look forward to the season to come. Varisty's season is hopefully going to last at least one more month.

I honestly can't wait to have alittle more free time. Time to go to my small group... I really miss all the great people there. I miss the encouraging words. Soon very soon I will be there!

Chances not taken.

Secrets of 2010 will stay just that. Secrets. I decided this year that I would leave them there. Why drag them with me to 2011? There secrets for a reason right. The funny thing is with 13 seconds left of 2010 I had the chance to tell at least one secret. And I missed my chance. Missed my opportunity. . . . The chance that I have prayed for. I remember taking a deep breath, and letting out. . . "Well, I guess my secrets will just have to stay in 2010."

This one particular secret popped into my head. One secret that I have been holding in for a while now. Since late winter early spring. A secret that might not change anything or could possibly change everything. I think this year I will pray for the strength to let it go. To move on from it. The strength to let things be. Maybe I should pray for courage to really talk about my feelings. Maybe I will pray for understanding. This year is going to be different. This year I am going to try my hardest to let Jesus guide me in every way. I am going to really try to put my hope in Him. All of my Hope. Things will work out however they are supposed. And maybe in 2010 they have worked out how things were supposed to. Maybe things were meant to go unsaid. Hmmm... that's quite possible.

There will always be missed opportunities and missed chances, but the great thing about God is that He will always create new ones. So if a new chance pops up... I won't hesitate to take it. Whatever it may be. Feelings can't be forgotten or left behind. Feeling are always going to be with you, at least until you do something about them. So in 2011, my feelings will not go hidden. My feelings will not go unsaid. So here't to the many great things in 2011, and even the not so great things.