My list.

I am now aware of a few things in life. Here's my list.

1. Don't fall for a guy who doesn't acknowledge your presence. Example: you are standing in the same room not more then 5 steps away, and you don't even get a nod in your direction.
2. Laugh all the time, and don't care who's listening.
3. Always know God is in control.
4. Don't become a hermit crab, and stay at home all time. Go out and enjoy yourself once in awhile.
5. Even friends will say cruel things. Usually means they were never really your friend.
6. Love with your whole heart. Even if your heart gets broken you will have learned something.
7. Find a true friend, and hold on to them tight even if they move halfway acrossed the country.
8. Patience. Probably the hardest thing for me because I want to be loved so badly.
9. Love your family regardless.
10. Always wear to different socks. It's just more fun that way.
11. Forgive as you were forgiven. This is a big one that I have yet to master. It's just a tough one for me.
12. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Who cares what the magazines are saying.
13. Buy a pair of cowboy boots.
14. Tell the truth. Always.
15. Acknowledge the people who have made a difference in your life. They might not know it, and it's also nice to hear.
16. Set a good example. You seriously never know whose watching.
17. Don't sell yourself short. You will only get in the way for the great things God has planned for you.
18. Wear high heels every once in a while.
19. It's ok to cry.
20. It's ok to make mistakes, as long as your willing to fix them.
21. Never feel alone. God is always right by your side.
22. Pray often and in everything.
23. Don't be afraid of change.
24. Try something new every once in awhile. And if you don't like it... You never have to do it again.
25. Read. Read. Read. There's so much amazing information out there. Go find it for yourself.
26. Open your eyes. Remove the blinders, and soar.
27. Don't fear the unknown. Believe God has put you exactly where He needs you.
28. Exercise every once in a while... You will always feel better when your done.
29. Write things down. That way when you die your kids can go back and read your thoughts.
30. Get more then one perspective on a situation. It always seems to make things more clear.
31. Enjoy time with others.
32. Don't be afraid to meet new people. It never hurts to have more friends.
33. Smile.
34. Enjoy the little things in life. They can add up to big things.
35. Live for something other then yourself.
36. Never be afraid to really say what's on your mind. Someone is always willing to listen.
37. Encourage others.
38. We were meant to be courageous.
39. Always try your hardest.
40. Rekindle old relationships with long lost friends.. Especially if you don't know why your stopped being friends.
41. Live a little.
42. Don't do something to try to impress the guy you like. If he likes you... It will be because your you.
43. You live, you learn, you crash, you burn. And that's alright.
44. Never stay angry.
45. Show someone that you care. Reach out and lend a hand every once in a while.
46. Always keep something that means something to you... Even if it's cluddering up your room.
47. Watch at least one scary movie by yourself. It gives you a whole new meaning to Nightmare on Elm Street.
48. It's perfectly on to be you.
49. Don't let months and months pass by without saying something to the handsome guy that goes to your church. You wind up in situation #1.
50. Follow your heart.
51. Take time to just play with your kids. They love it when a grown up acts like a dead turtle. Makes them smile... And what's better the that.
52. Enjoy your alone time.
53. Enjoy a beer or a glass of wine every once in a while.
54. Never be afraid to show your true feelings.
55. Dance. In front of the mirror. In the kitchen. Professionally. However. Wherever.
56. Hope. Never give up hoping. If one door closes, never doubt another one will open.


Honestly I could go on forever. I have learned alot in my 25 years. Do I completely follow all of these things all of the time. Nope. But do I try... Yes. Maybe you should make a list. Oh yeah...

57. "If he wants you... He will pursue you." I am still waiting for this to happen, and it will someday. Until then I will continue to work on me.

Fighting the Urge.

Yes, I have been hoping and planning and sometime scheming to get things to go my way.  This time I am not going to do any of that.  This time I will follow his lead.  This time I am not going to force something that's not there.  I am going to allow him to be the man.  The man that I have always wanted.  I am not going to chase him.

If I haven't learned anything in these past few months then seriously my eyes must have been shut, ears closed, and my head must have been covered by a blanket...  For the past year and half I have been living by the motto "If a guy wants you... then he will pursue you."  But only with a certain someone... the rest of the "men" I have encountered haven't been what I have needed or wanted.  As I step back from those situations and really examine them, I notice the same pattern.  Me.  Everything Me.  I let my wants and desires get in the way.  I pursued them... and honestly you can't pursue someone who doesn't want to be pursued.  And what was I doing?  Yes, I have a very dominate personality.  A very take the lead way of doing things, but as I think and pray I realize that sometimes it is necessary to relinquish control.  Not only to God, but to the guy I like.   I also realized that a lot of men aren't willing to put them  selves out there.  They are timid... so maybe taking a backseat will give him the confidence he needs...

I was sitting in my Western Civilization class last Friday, and I wrote a list of things I need my partner to be.  I need him to be a Godly man, someone who will eventually lead our family.  Someone who can make me laugh at all times, and in all circumstances, and finally someone who makes me a better person.  My list isn't long, and honestly it used to be.  It used to be filled with trivial things like... he has to be over 6 foot, handsome, has to come from a big family, has to have a car, and a job.  He has to make such and such amount of money.... blah blah blah...

I also realized that it's not about what a man can provide for me, but what can I provide for him.  Where's that list been?  I have to be prepared... I am not only looking for someone special... I am sure they are looking for the same.  So instead of making a laundry list of must haves for my future husband... I decided it would be appropriate to make one about me for him.  I don't think it's really necessary for me to share it with everyone, but I think it was an eye opening experience.  I really thought about it.  Where can I be better?  What needs to change in my life?  How can I prepare myself?  I think it takes a lot to really look at your weaknesses and admit that you need a little help or guidance.

I hope that one day my future husband will read this, and realizes that I have been along with the guidance and help of Jesus Christ preparing myself for him.  I know that I need to allow the guy to lead. And that's going to be hard for me.  So to the same guy I wrote about in my "If he likes you... He will pursue you" blog... I'll be here graciously waiting... And yes everyone in care you are wondering... Things have changed since I last wrote about that certain situation.

So from now on I will be fighting the urge to take the lead... I will be sitting back praying for my future husband.  :)

Life in General.

Big Breath.  This is going to be a doozy.  Sometimes life takes you by the hand, and leads you exactly where you need to be.  Lately I have felt that life hasn't been so nice to me.  Instead of guiding my gently I feel like I have been thrust in to a world of chaos.  From school to work to everything in between I have been going nonstop since school started up.  I find myself feeling overwhelmed.  Questioning if I am really do what I should be or am I wasting valuable time doing things that aren't going to matter.  All these feeling are something that I have never felt before.  I now super from test and quiz anxiety.  I find myself worried every day if I am going to  make to class, small group, work, and youth group on time.  These feeling I have never in my life experienced.  So I did what I could do, I would go through everyday pretending like everything was alright.  I would feel guilty about taking time to do something for myself when I could be doing homework, cleaning, or the 100 other things... after 6 weeks of feeling the weight of the world was on my shoulders I just couldn't take it anymore...

So I finally did something about it.   I had to talk to someone... Someone who is wise beyond his years.  Someone I have gotten to know over the past few months.  I stopped at the church office and let it all out.  And Rick not only listened... He really opened my eyes.  He helped me to look everything, and helped me realize that some of the stuff I had been carrying around wasn't mine to carry.   I wasn't trusting the one person who has never let me down.  Allowing God to help my get through everything.  I have been so wrapped up in what's not right that I stopped paying attention to what is right, and so beautiful.  I have been a Christian now for almost 2 years, and I could not be more happy.  My relationships are now built on God.  I strive to be the best COSM leader that I can be.  I found myself feeling guilty about my love for God.  Only because that means relationships I used to value just aren't that important anymore.

I also found myself really wondering if I should be in school or not.  I had never questioned this.  EVER.  Because I always felt like God lead me there.  God has opened so many doors for me.  Paying for my schooling... and just providing everything I need.  Well as this quarter has gone on I have really began to wonder if I should be at school.  And actually saying those words to Rick, I realized... How stupid Kendra... I knew God had led me there... He had opened every single door.  

So what could go?  What could lighten my load?  Small group? COSM? School?  Family time?  Studying?  Friend time?  All these things are very important to me.  All of these things make up who I am.  So after praying about it, I realized some of the other stuff had to go.  Like the guilt, the feeling of not being "good enough", the negative self talk... all the garbage of life.  That way I will have time for all the great things that God has provided for me.  I realized I need to trust the Lord, trust that He knows exactly what he is doing.

My life hasn't just been all downs... there has been a ton of ups, but I will have to save them for a later blog...

School Drool.

School starts next Monday, and honestly I am not excited about it at all... If you would have asked 3 weeks ago... I would have told you that I was more then ready to go back.  I know I wanted structure and a routine, but I don't know if I am ready for it.  I just have been praying for an easy transition... and not to much homework. :)

What I am looking forward to is coaching basketball again.  I am really looking forward to that.  I honestly thought about not doing it, but I was like why not?  It was a great experience last year, and I love all those girls, why not give it another go.  It works well with my schedule and it will be fun! Espeically because I scheduled my classed all in the morning so they would be out of the way by practice time!  So here's to another season of Red Devil basketball!

I was also thinking that this morning when I got out of bed, I had an extra pep in my step.  No everyone it's not a guy!  It's just the feeling of knowing you are on the right path.  It's the feeling of knowing I am exactly where God wants me.  I think that feeling is hard to come by.  Last week I didn't feel like that.  I had this dark cloud hanging over me.  A cloud that was following me around, a cloud that I was allowing to follow me.  Well its a new week, and today is a new day. 

I leave on Thursday and head for Spokane for the weekend.  I am attending the Women of Faith conference, and boy am I excited!  I am really looking for to spending some much need quality time with Debbie and her amazing family!  I don't know what the conference is all about, but I am open to whatever it is! And honestly I really like Spokane.  I liked living there, what I didn't like what the darn winter... I hate snow!!!  I am really excited that fall is the a few short weeks away.  I can't wait to pull out my boots and sweaters!! YAY to Fall!!

I am hoping to be getting a new car here soon... Yes I want to get rid of my beloved Nelly!  She is such a gas hog, and with driving back and forth to Yakima, I defitnitely need to something that is a little more gas friendly.  But we will see...

Megan and Paul's Big Day (pictures)

Here are a few pictures from this weekends amazing wedding!  I had such a great time.  It was great to get to be a part of something so amazing!  Love you Both!

Here I am... Feeling Beautiful! 



Dance Floor




Me, the Gorgeous Bride Megan, and Carrie




My Favorite Shot of me!!



I caught another bouquet... Yes that makes three this year! Oh Man!!

These are just a few of my favorites from the wedding... if you have me on Facebook I have a whole bunch more there... 

Wedding SUMMER

I have been to 6 wedding this summer... Starting May 21st, and ending 9.10.11!  I would have to say that all the wedding were beautiful and I enoyed them all, but this past weekend being apart of the wedding was something else.  Megan and Paul met through eHarmony about 2 years ago.  I knew instantly that they would get married.  I remember the first time Megan mentioned him to Carrie and I.  She was so giddy.  I knew that this time around it would be different.  Paul is a great guy... He's absolutely perfect for Megan! 

The weekend couldn't have went any better!  I have never felt so happy for anyone as I am for these two.  I went down to Hermiston 2 weekends ago to help Megan with last minute things.  Megan is quiet possibly the most organized bride I have ever met.  She had totes lining the walls with things for the wedding, all organized and neat.  I was very impressed, but I wouldn't expect any thing less from her.  She has always been so organized!  Well we worked the weekend away... (not really)!  But I felt that it was a successful weekend of getting stuff done.

The week flew by and I was headed down to Hermiston on Thursday with my best friend Carrie.  We arrived at Megan and Paul's around 9.  We grilled Paul about the possible handsome men that were going to be at the wedding... Then Paul headed off to work... We talked and had a glass of wine, then headed off to bed.  I just kept thinking Megan is getting married in 2 days... wow... I still can't believe its came and gone!  Anyway, back to the amazing weekend...

We woke up Friday morning and headed to the reception site.  Megan and Paul's reception was going to be at Paul's Mom and Dads house.  Which is gorgeous.  When we arrived around 8, tents were already up, and tables were being set out, along with chairs.  We went inside where the aunts and Paul's mom were hard a work, slicing bread, cutting potatoes, and watermelon.  You could see the love they all had, laughs were coming out of the kitchen... We helped out, and then headed to get the best pedicure of my life, and the best manicure too... Followed by a much needed spray tan!!  Headed back to Paul's parents house... and I locked my keys in the car... Thank Goodness for Paul's brother Thomas... who in 10 minutes flat had my car unlocked! 

We headed back to the amazing Family Suite Megan had gotten us and got ready for the rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner.  So much fun, and laughs were had that night.  We headed to bed after hanging with the Groom and Groomsmen...  It was 11:56 pm, and I wanted to wait until midnight to tell Megan that she was getting married today.  So as soon as the clock struck 12, I announced to the room... That Megan is getting married today... Then it was off to a night of tossing and turning... I was excited Megan was getting married... So was she because she got up at 5 to start getting ready for her big day.

I was wide awake with her... I honestly have never felt so loved.  Megan treated all her bridemaids like royalty.  From getting our pedis and manis done, and then getting our hair done to Megan paying for our dresses, shoes and everything in between.  She has been the best bride ever!  Well we headed to the salon, and got our hair done.  Then back to the hotel where I got my makeup done and helped Megan into her dress.  Oh man she made a beautiful bride.  Our flowers arrived, and boy were they just so pretty.  They were absolutely the prettiest flowers I have ever seen.  

We loaded up and headed to the picture spots, and boy was it sooo hot!!  We took a few pictures then headed to the church... took some more pictures, and waited for the wedding to start. 

The wedding went off with out a hitch and so did the amazingly beautiful reception.  The food was more then amazing, and so was the desserts....  We danced the night away, and I possibly ate way to much.  The alcohol was flowing and everyone was having a great time.

BUT... most of you would think that the party ended there, but they had a Sunday brunch with 100 of there closest friends and family.  It was so much fun too.  The food again was fabulous.  Just getting time to sit with Megan was great and actually get to talk to her.  I got to thank her for letting me be apart of her big day. 

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