Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Weird Spot...

Lately, I have been thinking that I am kind of in a weird spot.  I feel like I am stuck between 3 different spots.  I was driving today when it hit me... Well as most of you know I am not married nor do I have a boyfriend... So that subtracts me from getting invited to hangout with my married friends and their children because I might get bored... (actually I don't know their reasons) Then all of the friends that I have had forever are getting married or are married... I just feel like I am not as fun as a single women.  Then there's my younger friends who just want to go out and party, and that's definitely not me.  I just find it hard to be where I am at in life.  Not to say that I am not happy, but this kind of sucks...

I am sure people struggle with this all the time.  It's how life works.  Maybe it's because my best friend is getting married on Saturday.  My other best friend lives on the East Coast,  and my other in Couer de Alene.   Well I guess it's time for me to make some new single friends...

Other news in my life... School starts in 2 weeks and I am super excited about that!  I don't think I have been so excited for school since I was in kindergarden!   I just know I am on the right track... Having such peace about something is a great feeling... And it's all because of God, and I know He has lead me to this exact spot. I could not be more thankful either.

I have also been working at a salon in Zillah that I absolutely love!  The girls are all fabulous and make me laugh... I love working there!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

lazy.

I laugh at the fact that I promised a blog of epic proportions and I have not been able to come up with anything of those proportions... haha!  Nothing epic goes on in my life anymore, and to say that I am sorry about that would be a total and complete lie.  I live a simple life.  I have the same routine every week, and I find myself becoming more and more of a home body as the days go on. 

I laugh because I always say that I have no friends.  No one to do anything with.  No one to call up to hangout.  No one to go to the movies with.  And every time I say this I chuckle to myself.  Perhaps its me who doesn't want to hang out.  Perhaps its me who doesn't want to go to the movies.  I don't know.  Here's the thing, I am not lonely, sad, or unhappy with my life.  I am content in my everyday activities.  I find joy and peace in my quiet time.  I find that I am most happy curled up on a couch reading... 

Now don't get me wrong... I enjoy dinner with my girlfriends, or just hanging out with them. I enjoy spending time with whoever wants to spend time with me.  Honestly I think that its my lazy bone that wins out most of the time.  It's easy to stay home, I live with 5 people that I adore. 

I do have a very busy weekend schedule though.  One of my dearest friends is getting married in a week, and has a few things that need to get done.  So I told her that I would be more then willing to help out.  I am seriously looking forward to spening sometime with her, before she gets hitched.  And the closer the wedding comes the more excited I get.  SINGLE GUYS is what a wedding is all about... haha just kidding... definitely not!  I am excited to get my hair and nails done... to wear a goregous dress, and watch my friend get married to an amazing man. I already know the wedding will be goregous, and I know for sure Megan will be too... I have been going over her bustle in my sleep... making sure I get everything perfect.  I am seriously looking forward to it... Expect a blog about it...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

"If a guy wants you... He will pursue you"

I have never been one to struggle with words, but for some reason around a particular person I struggle for them constantly. Actually I wouldn't say its a struggle... Its more of a total avoidance.   Lets go back to February, when I had the most brilliant of ideas (rolls eyes because it wasn't).  I decided that I was going to put myself out there... I was going to say hi... Haha... Well as you might have already guessed that still hasn't happened (its late August).  I struggle to smile at you even... Or make eye contact.  Its actually a hilarious story (to everyone I tell), but not to me. 

I was once told my one of my best guy friends, who I would say is a credible source to all things male, "If I guy wants you, he will pursue you..."  So every time I think about that... I instantly think, ok... well pursue away... I am pursueable (if that's even a word) But honestly how can you be pursued if you never say Hi! Or make eye contact... or breath around that certain someone who has caught your attention...  Hello Kendra!  DUH!...

So there I was with some friends at North Town, hoping that you know who might decide to walk through the doors... But does he?... Nope... (there's a little more to the whole North Town story) So as we are sitting there going over life... I am asked if there's anyone I like... I quickly say no, but get a huge smile on my face, so of course my cover is blown... I say "well how can you possibly like someone who have never talked to."  Then they get it out of me who it is... and decide we should go over some scenarios.  Hilarious right?  Sure... We sit there and joke for a while about it... Now every time my friend sees him she texts me and lets me know... Of course I tell her to march right over to him and tell him how amazing I am, since I can't do this myself.

So here I am months and months later... Sitting in a pew at church telling myself... Today is the day... Today you will say hi... Today you will at least smile at him... Ha.  Church ends and I exit the building more rapidly then normal.  I walk to the car with Michaela thinking... "You will never get anywhere... Go back in..."  Do I listen to my inner more powerful voice... Nope... I get in the car and drive the 18 minutes back to my house... This is an every week occurrence...

So here I am sitting behind the computer screen, knowing a bunch of people are going to read this blog.  Am I sharing to much... Possibly... I am worried... Most definitely not... I can say what I want here, and NOT be questioned about it... Not be laughed at to my face.  As most of my friends do when I tell them this ridiculous story... But I can see why they think is so funny... I think its funny... I am a wimp... I am a total laughing stock!  So perhaps I will say hi... Perhaps not ever now that I have shared this with everyone.  I may just let it be.  Go on with my everyday life... It's not like this whole ordeal keeps me up at night... (haha really people it doesn't). 

So the words, "If a guy wants you, then he will pursue you..." will forever haunt me.  But it couldn't be closer to the truth.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Seriously? Retreat (blog 2)

Day Two
I get about of bed at 7:30 waking Michaela so we can get in a quick shower before breakfast... We eat, and head right into morning devotionals. I absolutely loved this. It was a 30 minute time of peaceful music and time to spend in prayer, reading the Word, or journaling. As most of you know I am a huge journalor... I can spend hours journaling my thoughts, prayers, and daily intakes on life. So I greatly enjoyed this time. Then we spent the next hour listening to Rick preach on Jonah and how he spent 3 days in the great fish's belly...
Then we all changed into our swim suits or shorts, and headed for the lake. We spent the next hour or so on the water. I paddle boated with Michaela and everyone else either canoed or paddle boated too. It was a great joy to see the kids having so much fun (and the adults too). We paddled out to Strawberry Island. The water was so calm it made for easy sailing. I enjoyed my time with Michaela... Splashing her, and laughing with her. I just love that little rascal! We headed in so I could grab my camera get a few shots of everyone on the water... After a while we headed back to the lodge and played some more games of Mafia, and indian poker... We ate lunch. After lunch we had some time to just relax.

Erin, McKenzie, Michaela, and I headed out to the Chapel. Its a beautiful spot that over looks the lake. As we were sitting there we saw a gorgeous bald eagle being chased by 2 offspray. We followed it, and the birds just kept getting higher and higher in the sky... As we were walking back to the Lodge, RIck yelled for us that it was time. Time for what you might ask... Time for the Climbing Wall and the Leap of Faith.
The kids were so very excited to climb the wall... me on the other hand, not so much.... I made it half way up and decided I didn't want to go any further... After everyone went... We headed down to the Leap of Faith. I am not quite sure how high this Leap is, but I instantly did not want to participate. I was scared, and afraid I would have a panic attack in what flet like a 100 ft in the air... The point of the Leap is to try and reach a bar 6 feet away from the platform. After watching a few people go... I decided that I could do it... I got harnessed up and headed up the tree... Never looking down... I got the top and thought, "What have I gotten myself into..."  I stood there for a moment and prayed... taking a huge leap of faith... I didn't know if I could do it.  I was so nervous, scared, freaked out... you name it and I was it... I heard calls of encouragement from down below... I took me 4 and half minutes to jump.  I had everyone give me a countdown... and as I prepared to jump... I tried to stop myself... Of course I didn't reach for the bar... but if everyone hadn't rallied around me, I wouldnt have made it down.  It was their support and encouragement that got me off the ledge... I will forever be grateful that I did it... I was up there praying, and asking God to help me get down, and He of course did, by sending everyone on the ground to help me!  Thanks be to God for getting me down.  After the Leap of Faith we headed up for dinner...

Dinner was pizza, amazing... I ate outside with some of the guys... They were being there usually funny selfs.  Definitely reminded me of my brother and how he could never sit still during a meal.  We headed inside to listen to the message about Jonah and how he went to Nineveh.  Finishing up the night with Veggie Tales' story of Jonah... Popcorn and Milkduds...

We headed outside for a 1 hour game of Capture the flag, that turned into 2 games of capture the flag.  I was so sneaky during the first game of capture the flag.  It was the first time ever I made it the the jail on the other side.  I was using the trees to hide myself as I crept to the otherside... I thought for sure I would get caught, but I didn't!  YAY ME!  We finished the night with a short quick game capture the flag!  It was so much fun, but I was so very tired... As soon as we went in I headed for bed! 

Day Three

I did not want to get out of bed.... So I slept until 8:30 when breakfast was at 9.  We did morning devotionals, and finished out the story of Jonah.  I did not know that Jonah was upset with God's Compassion towards the people of Nineveh.  I understand it though.  Because I sometime find myself upset with something I know is God's Will.  It was definitely a wake up call for me.  Here's how I look at it.  God gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve one.  I definitely need to remind myself that I am in no way better then the people of Nineveh were... (I of course didn't go around slapping people with fish... Veggie Tales version haha).

After that we ate lunch, cleaned up, and packed up to head home.  I didn't want to leave... and as we were driving out Michaela told me... "I have a enough clothes for a few more days..."  So did I.  I am counting down the days until next summer's trip... California!!! 

I just want to finish by again stating that God has blessed my life grately.  I praise Him for all the work He did in these Teens lives this week, and for a the work He will continue doing in their's and mine!  It was the first weekend that all my focus was on Him.  I was packing up on Saturday, and it hit me that I hadn't thought about any of my worries back home.  I had left them there and focused on my relationship with the Lord.  It reminded me that that should be a daily thing.  I shouldn't have worries and if I do I should take them to God's doorstep and leave them there.  "Give all your worries and cares to God, for cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7

Thanks to everyone who made this amazing trip so amazing!  To every one of the COSM leaders thank you for your continued service, for the care and love you each showed for these teens... I am amazed that the things God has planned for all of us!  And to every single student, you all fill my heart with so much joy, and happiness.  It was great to see the want and drive to learn more about God!  The care and encouragement you all gave during the climbing wall, and the Leap of Faith! 

COSM's Seriously? Retreat (blog 1)

I am very blessed to be apart of Crossed Out Student Ministries at Sun Valley Church.  And I was lucky to get to go on the Seriously Retreat.  And boy did I have a great time.  The students were so excited to be up at Camp Dudley and they were even more excited to learn about the book of Jonah.  I was also excited to learn about him too.  Being a newer Christian, I hadn't gotten they oppurtnity to learn about him other then when I was working in the Preschool Sunday School.  So I was very excited about it. 

Day One

We left for Camp Dudley at 3 on Thursday afternoon.  After a quick stop at the mini mart on the way up we were headed to the wilderness.  About 7 summers ago I worked up at Camp Dudley... So I was ready to get back to the beautiful place that changed my life.  I was driving the girls which included my Sisters and Little K.  We talked and laughed all the way up.  After about an hour we arrived at the camp.  We were staying in Shinn Lodge, we set up camp... (which consisted of rolling our sleeping bag out on bunk beds on the Girls' side of the dorm)  Headed down stairs and played a could of games of Mafia (Harry Potter, and Dora the Explorer Type Mafia haha).  Dinner was ready and we had steak quesadillas... Oh camp food how I have missed you!!!  We ate and gathered for our first night of worship and our first taste of how God worked in Jonah's life. 

I just have to say that Rick (Youth Pastor) did an amazing job.  We spent 3 entire days in a 4 verse book.  He was able to pull so much out of a passage that normally takes 15 minutes to read.  We sang and listened to Rick preach.  What a great time.  A time to listen and praise God for being so compassionate, and for giving mercy to all.  Even to all of Ninevah.  We listened to Rick talk about Running from God.  And boy that message hit me really hard.  There are things that I do and I know I shouldn't and it's exactly like I am running from God.  Filling my mind with useless TV, and music when I could be spending time with the Lord.  Not praying enough, and spending enough time in the Word.  We finished up with sometime to reflect, and pray, and ask forgiveness.  Sang some more... 

The night only got better when we headed outside for a game of sardines, and capture the flag.  It was dark out, and the sky was the prettiest thing I have even seen.  The sky is one of the reason I love being up in the mountains.  There is nothing to obscure the stars beauty and it just reminds me of much time and care God took when He created the stars. The games of sardines went off without a hitch.  No one injured or scared. haha... Well actually I did have a fright.  Michaela and I were following Mark around... Hoping that he would stumble across the hiding Alex... when Mark was shining his flash light up into the hills side... my flashlight was following behind, and what did we spot what a set of freaking looking eyes.... When I took my light way, and said "did you see those eyes?"  Instantly I was freaked...  Mark answered, "You saw them too..."  He asked me to shine my high powered flash light up there again... We thought that it would be safe to throw a huge rock at whatever it was, that was getting closer and closer to us...  So lets just say for the rest of the game I was walking around with my heart pounding a little harder, and I was a bit on edge. Well after about 15 mninutes of looking for Alex we finally stumbled upon him... He said that he had heard my sister and I calling his name... we happened to walk right by him... never turning our back from him...  The games of capture the flag weren't as injure free... Nothing lift threatening or anything... I took a hard spill trying to chase down Steve, but walked away with a few bruises... Its hard to play capture the flag in the dark, and in the woods, but it was most definitely a very fun night. 

We headed in around 12:15, and played a few more games of mafia before I decided to call it quits for the night.  The kids stayed up until late, but hey its summer, and who cares...

(I had written more, but decided to post it in a different blog)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Blessing.

Just when I think school isn't going to be an option, God provides a way.  I have been really struggling with a way to pay for school.  Yes, I know I should have been saving, and I know that my parents would have payed for it.  I just don't want to have to ask my Mom to write a giant tution check with THEIR hard earned money.  Yes, I applied for financial aid, but with the Finanical Aid Office being so far behind I knew I couldn't count on it.  Tution was due yesterday, so last week I finally asked my Mom if she could pay for it.  She asked if I had heard from F.A. and I told her that I had heard that I wouldn't get it until sometime after Fall Quarter started.  I told her I would get her a total and went on with my day.  Well I was sitting at work, and I recieved an email from YVCC.  It was notification of my financial aid.  YAY!  I don't think that I had ever been so excited.  I immediately went to check and see how much it was for.  I was definitely surprised at how much I am getting.  I definitely got enough for school, books, and gas to get there.  I got more then last year.  I recieved the Federal Pell Grant, and the State Need Grant. 

This is just a small example of the great things God is doing in my life, which made me more thankful for His continued grace.  Just when I start to question if I should even be going to school, God shows me that I am right where He wants me.  I definitely find comfort in that.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Home.

I came acrossed this video a few days ago, and I honestly cannot get it out of my mind.  It's a really good song.  But I really adore the below version of it, done by a dad and his daughter... So cute.