I was sitting on the couch when the phone rang, I noticed it was my brother. I hadn't talked to him in ages... As I answered, I could hear the pain in his voice... He asked for our Mom between breaths... I was in a panic, I thought something was wrong with him. I asked if he was alright, and he didn't say anything... I told him Mom wasn't home, and again asked him if he was alright... I told him to call Mom on her cellphone, she was golfing... And he said ok and hung up. I immediately started pray. Asking God to protect my brother...
I looked out the window and saw my Mom had stopped half down the driveway... I could see she was on the phone... I was praying everything was alright. She walked in the house and up the stairs... I asked her if my Brother was alright. She walked over to me and looked at me with such pain in her eyes. She told me that Andy Collins had died. And I covered my face... This isn't possible. This couldn't be true. Really I asked? I felt immediate pain. Andy was one of my brothers nearest and dearest friends. Andy had spent countless days at the house, and was newly married. My brother had just been in his wedding. She went on to tell me that he died of a heart attack. A heart attack at 27? Was it even possible... I turned my phone on, and a text flashed up on the screen... it was from Nick, Andy's little brother, telling me his brother had passed away and his family needed prayer. I sat there for a long time... still not wanting to believe it was true...
You never image that someone so young and with such a bright future would be taken at such a young age, but here we are... We are left wondering why? Left with the feeling of sadness, and hurt. A week and half after he got married... Andy touched many people's life. I was lucky to get to know him, and my brother was so very lucky to call him his best friend. In time things will get easier... I find comfort in knowing Andy is in heaven with his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. No one ever imagines that someone so close to them could be taken away so quickly. Makes you realize that your days are numbered, and you can not forget to tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Life is Short, and this is a prime example.
Rest in Peace Andy.
You will be missed.
My thoughts and prayers go out the Collins Family. May God wrap His loving arms around you in your time of need.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Unnoticed.
I was sitting at North Town yesterday afternoon, and I was thumbing through my journal when I came acrossed this...
Unnoticed
I was talking with my best friend about you,
You walked through the door.
I went unnoticed.
We were in a room full of people,
You were staring at your computer screen.
I went unnoticed.
Honestly, I meant to say hi,
You drank your coffee.
I went unnoticed.
You talked to my friends,
Even gave them the WiFi code.
I went unnoticed.
I got up and went to class,
You worked the night away.
I went unnoticed.
I wrote you a message,
You asked, "Were you there?"
Just confirms, I went UNNOTICED.
I wrote this in March. And maybe I didn't jump at the chance to talk to him. And honestly I still haven't. Dumb! Haha... Sometimes you pray for a chance, and God gave me an opening... I was just to chicken to take it.
Unnoticed
I was talking with my best friend about you,
You walked through the door.
I went unnoticed.
We were in a room full of people,
You were staring at your computer screen.
I went unnoticed.
Honestly, I meant to say hi,
You drank your coffee.
I went unnoticed.
You talked to my friends,
Even gave them the WiFi code.
I went unnoticed.
I got up and went to class,
You worked the night away.
I went unnoticed.
I wrote you a message,
You asked, "Were you there?"
Just confirms, I went UNNOTICED.
I wrote this in March. And maybe I didn't jump at the chance to talk to him. And honestly I still haven't. Dumb! Haha... Sometimes you pray for a chance, and God gave me an opening... I was just to chicken to take it.
Old Crushes Die Hard.
I was surfing Facebook, when I came across an updated that stated, "Such and Such went from 'in a relationship' to 'single,'"and I couldn't help but get a huge smile on my face. My first thought was I should like this. Then I thought against it. If I did that perhaps he would question our friendship, and I didn't want that to happen. Then I thought well, atleast I know that there's good men still out there for me. So I wrote him a little message just to check in and see how he was... same ol' same we had been doing for the past 7 years.
Going back to when I was 18, and the first time I saw his gorgeous face. I was a counselour up at Camp Dudley the summer after I graduated high school. I was having the best summer of my life. Getting to be up in the mountains, breathing the fresh air, surrounded by amazing people, and my favorite cousin. The summer couldn't possibly get any better, or atleast I thought that it couldn't. Until I saw Shades (definitely sticking to Camp names... for all those I worked with, its about time you all hear this story). He was so very handsome, tall, and built. I honestly I think I had to pick my mouth up off the ground when he walked in. We were at our normal before campers showup meeting, hearing about the plan of attack for the week. Darkman introduced him to us, and I just remember stuttering through my name. Man, was he handsome was all I kept thinking.
After the meeting got over, the girls headed up the hill, to get all our cabins ready for the week. I couldn't wait to talk to him, and get to know him. Well we instantly hit it off, but definitely not in the way I had imagined. Shades was 26 and finishing up his last year in college. He was doing his intership. I was definitely young for him, but I didn't give up hope. I remember spending every free second around him. He wasn't just cute he was nice, and funny... and smart. I enjoyed our time in the store selling Tshirts and candy bars. Deep down I knew nothing serious was going to come out of this. Nothing.
It was Lord of the Rings week, and the first time I saw him without his shirt. WOW! His body had to have been chizzled out of stone. I think by then a few of the girls had picked up on my infatuation with him. They tried to help out and get him to notice, but it didn't happen. I remember trying to get him to come on our overnights, and now that I think that about it how inapproiate would have that been. Campers asked if I liked any of the other counselors, since I think that there were 4 couples that summer. I remember sitting down on a log next to the horseshoe pit, and he walked up and sat down next to me. He had to have known then that something was up... He asked if something was wrong, and of course I said no... While the voice was screaming in my head " I REALLY REALLY like you!" We sat there and laughed...
After one of the overnights I got sick, so I had to go into solitary confindedment. I was in this little room, with a mattress on the floor, and a little itty bitty window. It was dance night, and I was missing it. I was laying in my bed reading a smut book that 2 of my best friends had sent me. I am laying there tangled up in my blanket, and hearing music blaring from the dining hall when a little knock came from the door. I just assumed that it was my cousin, she had visited me a few times already making sure I was ok, when I said come in... It was Shades, he had walked down to see how I was doing. Immediately I had wished I had combed my hair and brushed my teeth. He sat down on the ground and talked to me for a while. He said he had been asking about me, but wanted to make sure I was doing alright himself. I thought maybe he did care. Maybe he felt the same way I did. He hung out for a while, and I told him he should get back to the dance. He checked on me once more before the morning.
I remember the car ride to Yakima. Camp was one week from being over and we were staying the YMCA for the night. We rode all the way there with the windows down. Talking non-stop about this and that. I remember thinking... "tell him, tell him.." I never got the courage to tell him anything. I mean I told him of my upcoming plans, and how he needed to keep in touch. I remember that night... I didn't want it to end. From swimming to playing pool to just hanging out. I remember it all like it was yesterday, and the funny thing is... I haven't thought that about any of this in years. Yeah from time to time I think about camp, and all the fun I had, but never really about my first hge crush on an older man.
Well it was the last week of camp, and I was headed out a secret squirrel mission. I tried to get my night off changed so that I could hang with Shades, but it didn't work out as disappointed as I was I didn't let it stop me from having a great last week. After the cabins were cleaned, and the cars loaded, we all said our tearful goodbyes, "saying I will see you at Darkman, and Princess' wedding"... I wrote Shades a letter, had it in my back pocket, I didn't hand it to him.... I thought to myself... what would it change... We went our seperate ways... Or atleast thats what I thought...
I recieved a phone call or two from him... We decided that we were going to go to the wedding together. I picked him up and we talked about school and he talked about a girl. Definitely not what I wanted to hear. We got to the wedding, and people were asking me if we were "together," and sadly I had to tell them no. We danced, and laughed all night...
After that the phone calls didn't come as often, and I would get a random text every now and again... A friend and I were headed over the mountains, so I thought why not stop in ellensburg and see him... Well we stopped, and I don't remember ever feeling so unwelcome. We didn't stay long. It wasn't Shades that made it that way... It was his friend. Well that was the last time I saw him. Pretty much the last time I heard his voice.
Every once in a while I text him just to see how he's doing, and he always replys... So I guess in short, I never really got over my crush from 7 years ago, and I can't say that I am sorry to see that he's single again. I guess old crushes die hard.
Going back to when I was 18, and the first time I saw his gorgeous face. I was a counselour up at Camp Dudley the summer after I graduated high school. I was having the best summer of my life. Getting to be up in the mountains, breathing the fresh air, surrounded by amazing people, and my favorite cousin. The summer couldn't possibly get any better, or atleast I thought that it couldn't. Until I saw Shades (definitely sticking to Camp names... for all those I worked with, its about time you all hear this story). He was so very handsome, tall, and built. I honestly I think I had to pick my mouth up off the ground when he walked in. We were at our normal before campers showup meeting, hearing about the plan of attack for the week. Darkman introduced him to us, and I just remember stuttering through my name. Man, was he handsome was all I kept thinking.
After the meeting got over, the girls headed up the hill, to get all our cabins ready for the week. I couldn't wait to talk to him, and get to know him. Well we instantly hit it off, but definitely not in the way I had imagined. Shades was 26 and finishing up his last year in college. He was doing his intership. I was definitely young for him, but I didn't give up hope. I remember spending every free second around him. He wasn't just cute he was nice, and funny... and smart. I enjoyed our time in the store selling Tshirts and candy bars. Deep down I knew nothing serious was going to come out of this. Nothing.
It was Lord of the Rings week, and the first time I saw him without his shirt. WOW! His body had to have been chizzled out of stone. I think by then a few of the girls had picked up on my infatuation with him. They tried to help out and get him to notice, but it didn't happen. I remember trying to get him to come on our overnights, and now that I think that about it how inapproiate would have that been. Campers asked if I liked any of the other counselors, since I think that there were 4 couples that summer. I remember sitting down on a log next to the horseshoe pit, and he walked up and sat down next to me. He had to have known then that something was up... He asked if something was wrong, and of course I said no... While the voice was screaming in my head " I REALLY REALLY like you!" We sat there and laughed...
After one of the overnights I got sick, so I had to go into solitary confindedment. I was in this little room, with a mattress on the floor, and a little itty bitty window. It was dance night, and I was missing it. I was laying in my bed reading a smut book that 2 of my best friends had sent me. I am laying there tangled up in my blanket, and hearing music blaring from the dining hall when a little knock came from the door. I just assumed that it was my cousin, she had visited me a few times already making sure I was ok, when I said come in... It was Shades, he had walked down to see how I was doing. Immediately I had wished I had combed my hair and brushed my teeth. He sat down on the ground and talked to me for a while. He said he had been asking about me, but wanted to make sure I was doing alright himself. I thought maybe he did care. Maybe he felt the same way I did. He hung out for a while, and I told him he should get back to the dance. He checked on me once more before the morning.
I remember the car ride to Yakima. Camp was one week from being over and we were staying the YMCA for the night. We rode all the way there with the windows down. Talking non-stop about this and that. I remember thinking... "tell him, tell him.." I never got the courage to tell him anything. I mean I told him of my upcoming plans, and how he needed to keep in touch. I remember that night... I didn't want it to end. From swimming to playing pool to just hanging out. I remember it all like it was yesterday, and the funny thing is... I haven't thought that about any of this in years. Yeah from time to time I think about camp, and all the fun I had, but never really about my first hge crush on an older man.
Well it was the last week of camp, and I was headed out a secret squirrel mission. I tried to get my night off changed so that I could hang with Shades, but it didn't work out as disappointed as I was I didn't let it stop me from having a great last week. After the cabins were cleaned, and the cars loaded, we all said our tearful goodbyes, "saying I will see you at Darkman, and Princess' wedding"... I wrote Shades a letter, had it in my back pocket, I didn't hand it to him.... I thought to myself... what would it change... We went our seperate ways... Or atleast thats what I thought...
I recieved a phone call or two from him... We decided that we were going to go to the wedding together. I picked him up and we talked about school and he talked about a girl. Definitely not what I wanted to hear. We got to the wedding, and people were asking me if we were "together," and sadly I had to tell them no. We danced, and laughed all night...
After that the phone calls didn't come as often, and I would get a random text every now and again... A friend and I were headed over the mountains, so I thought why not stop in ellensburg and see him... Well we stopped, and I don't remember ever feeling so unwelcome. We didn't stay long. It wasn't Shades that made it that way... It was his friend. Well that was the last time I saw him. Pretty much the last time I heard his voice.
Every once in a while I text him just to see how he's doing, and he always replys... So I guess in short, I never really got over my crush from 7 years ago, and I can't say that I am sorry to see that he's single again. I guess old crushes die hard.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Greatest
Yesterday happened to be one of the Greatest days of my life... Why you might ask? Well I woke up with a sense of urgency. A hunger to learn... I had an extra pep in my step, and I was really looking forward to getting back to church. After missing the past two weeks because I was out of town. I couldn't wait to see my SVC family and hear Pastor John preach the word. I was looking forward to catching up on what I missed in Sunday school, and seeing some family I had been missing greatly. Well you might think that because this was one of the greatest days in my life that everything would have gone perfectly... Well it didn't according to the above, but it went better.
As I walked into the Gym, it dawned on my that this weekend was SVC's huge camping weekend, and as I looked to the front of the gym I didn't see who I had expected... A little discouraged I asked my friend Heather where Rick was.... and if his class had been moved... She again reminded me that Rick was camping and Chuck would be teaching the class today... We chatted a few more moments and I went to sit down. I even considered going over to the Youth Group building... Well I am more then glad I stayed. God has this funny way of showing me my sin when I don't really want to see it. Chuck talked about many things that are going on in my life... and really opened my heart and mind to a new thinking... Romans 6:11-14 states "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in you mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sins, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." HELLO KENDRA!!! I battle the same sin every week... And the funny thing is I know exactly what to do about it... I occassionally give in, and I say it won't happen again, and it does. But this time I am going to take furthers steps to ridding myself of it...
After Sunday School I sat outside... it was hot, but I wasn't ready to go into the sanctury yet. I sat there for 10 minutes, thinking and praying. Soaking up the beautiful day God had provided us with. I sat there thinking, "Kendra, you can do it!" I looked up and there was my Iddy Biddy (Kaela) and I got a smile on my face... "Show her... Be her example... She needs you..." All of this popped into my head as I stood up and told her, "I just thought that I would wait for you out here..." Iddy Biddy smiled and we walked in and sat down together... I was looking at the bulletin, and realized that Pastor John wouldn't be preaching today. And I thought, "great..."
And as you probably already know... (since this was one of the Greatest Days of my entire existence) Dr. Todd Miles preached an amazing sermon. I don't think I have ever been more impressed with a guest speaker. He preached about Adpotion... and honestly I had never thought about being "adopted" into God's family. All these converstation about adoption I had had with friends... I remember telling my friend, "I would never adopt." "I want kids of my own." "I just can't see myself being a good mom to someone else's kid." How selfish is that. How horrible were those thoughts. I left church thinking... God adopted you... God took you in and loves you. Really? Yeah, Kendra really... Sometimes you don't even realize that something is missing until God brings it right to you on a silver platter... I was definitely in the right place at the right time. Every child desevres to be loved... And I honeslty can't believe I didn't think that before.
I am sure that I will have other "great" days, and God will continue to work in my life. Things like this just prove to me that God loves me unconidtionally, and His timing couldn't be more perfect.
As I walked into the Gym, it dawned on my that this weekend was SVC's huge camping weekend, and as I looked to the front of the gym I didn't see who I had expected... A little discouraged I asked my friend Heather where Rick was.... and if his class had been moved... She again reminded me that Rick was camping and Chuck would be teaching the class today... We chatted a few more moments and I went to sit down. I even considered going over to the Youth Group building... Well I am more then glad I stayed. God has this funny way of showing me my sin when I don't really want to see it. Chuck talked about many things that are going on in my life... and really opened my heart and mind to a new thinking... Romans 6:11-14 states "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in you mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sins, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." HELLO KENDRA!!! I battle the same sin every week... And the funny thing is I know exactly what to do about it... I occassionally give in, and I say it won't happen again, and it does. But this time I am going to take furthers steps to ridding myself of it...
After Sunday School I sat outside... it was hot, but I wasn't ready to go into the sanctury yet. I sat there for 10 minutes, thinking and praying. Soaking up the beautiful day God had provided us with. I sat there thinking, "Kendra, you can do it!" I looked up and there was my Iddy Biddy (Kaela) and I got a smile on my face... "Show her... Be her example... She needs you..." All of this popped into my head as I stood up and told her, "I just thought that I would wait for you out here..." Iddy Biddy smiled and we walked in and sat down together... I was looking at the bulletin, and realized that Pastor John wouldn't be preaching today. And I thought, "great..."
And as you probably already know... (since this was one of the Greatest Days of my entire existence) Dr. Todd Miles preached an amazing sermon. I don't think I have ever been more impressed with a guest speaker. He preached about Adpotion... and honestly I had never thought about being "adopted" into God's family. All these converstation about adoption I had had with friends... I remember telling my friend, "I would never adopt." "I want kids of my own." "I just can't see myself being a good mom to someone else's kid." How selfish is that. How horrible were those thoughts. I left church thinking... God adopted you... God took you in and loves you. Really? Yeah, Kendra really... Sometimes you don't even realize that something is missing until God brings it right to you on a silver platter... I was definitely in the right place at the right time. Every child desevres to be loved... And I honeslty can't believe I didn't think that before.
I am sure that I will have other "great" days, and God will continue to work in my life. Things like this just prove to me that God loves me unconidtionally, and His timing couldn't be more perfect.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Looking back.
I have been neglecting this blog, and I feel bad!
God has blessed me in so many ways, how could I forget to tell the rest of the world. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and digging deep here lately, and I find myself standing as tall as ever. And not on my own, but on the shoulders of something, rather someone much more powerful then myself. Trusting in someone else is normally a very hard thing for most to do. It's easy to trust half heartedly, but to trust someone with your entire being is hard, very hard, but I think I am getting the hang of it.
I have a peace that I have never felt before. I feel love for someone that I have never felt before. I trust in the Lord completely. Now at times I fail, and I fall. And recently I fell really hard, but this time was different. I wasn't alone in my hurt, I wasn't by myself. I didn't feel that I failed myself, but someone more important. I failed the Lord. There were two things I could do about it. I could go back to being old Kendra. The Kendra that did things for herself. The Kendra that I have fought so hard to let go of. The Kendra that was about doing things because they felt good. I sat in my room with a heavy heart. I had feelings of embarrassment, shame, and defeat. This time I chose to do something I never would have before. I asked for forgiveness, and not just from God, but from everyone I hurt or lied to along the way. Did the shame go away instantly no, did the embarrassment go away instantly no. But the heavy hurt I had been caring around since the first lie flew out of my mouth went away instantly. And everything go easier after I asked forgiveness from God, then my friends.
I was told, "Kendra you have to let it go... It's in the past, and can't be changed. Let it go!" And after beating myself up, I let it go. I let that go, and with that went my past. With that I was new and improved. I hadn't realized I was dragging my past around with me until I failed. I fail everyday. I am a sinner. And I think its what I learned that has changed me yet again. Changed me into someone who is content waiting for His's plan for me to unfold. I am content with everything God has given me. I am very blessed. I wake up everyday thanking God for getting me through the night. I find blessing in the smallest of things. I find myself thanking God more and more each day. I find myself learning more and more everyday.
I was baptized a year ago Monday... I look back on that day, and I laugh. I have never been so scared in my life. So afraid to look up at my family. To look up and see the faces of people who were so happy for me. I was scared to say something wrong. Scared of everything. I was scared to give myself fully to Christ. To trust with all my being in Him. I knew thats what I wanted, and over the year thats what has come to be. I can't help, but ask myself, "what were you really afraid of?" I think I now know the answer... Failing. And at that time I don't think I realized that regardless of my downfalls, God chose me... He picked me... He loves me... I know that now... Of course I have to remind myself of that everyday. But life is so much better when you can trust in someone who knows exactly what He is doing.
God has blessed me in so many ways, how could I forget to tell the rest of the world. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and digging deep here lately, and I find myself standing as tall as ever. And not on my own, but on the shoulders of something, rather someone much more powerful then myself. Trusting in someone else is normally a very hard thing for most to do. It's easy to trust half heartedly, but to trust someone with your entire being is hard, very hard, but I think I am getting the hang of it.
I have a peace that I have never felt before. I feel love for someone that I have never felt before. I trust in the Lord completely. Now at times I fail, and I fall. And recently I fell really hard, but this time was different. I wasn't alone in my hurt, I wasn't by myself. I didn't feel that I failed myself, but someone more important. I failed the Lord. There were two things I could do about it. I could go back to being old Kendra. The Kendra that did things for herself. The Kendra that I have fought so hard to let go of. The Kendra that was about doing things because they felt good. I sat in my room with a heavy heart. I had feelings of embarrassment, shame, and defeat. This time I chose to do something I never would have before. I asked for forgiveness, and not just from God, but from everyone I hurt or lied to along the way. Did the shame go away instantly no, did the embarrassment go away instantly no. But the heavy hurt I had been caring around since the first lie flew out of my mouth went away instantly. And everything go easier after I asked forgiveness from God, then my friends.
I was told, "Kendra you have to let it go... It's in the past, and can't be changed. Let it go!" And after beating myself up, I let it go. I let that go, and with that went my past. With that I was new and improved. I hadn't realized I was dragging my past around with me until I failed. I fail everyday. I am a sinner. And I think its what I learned that has changed me yet again. Changed me into someone who is content waiting for His's plan for me to unfold. I am content with everything God has given me. I am very blessed. I wake up everyday thanking God for getting me through the night. I find blessing in the smallest of things. I find myself thanking God more and more each day. I find myself learning more and more everyday.
I was baptized a year ago Monday... I look back on that day, and I laugh. I have never been so scared in my life. So afraid to look up at my family. To look up and see the faces of people who were so happy for me. I was scared to say something wrong. Scared of everything. I was scared to give myself fully to Christ. To trust with all my being in Him. I knew thats what I wanted, and over the year thats what has come to be. I can't help, but ask myself, "what were you really afraid of?" I think I now know the answer... Failing. And at that time I don't think I realized that regardless of my downfalls, God chose me... He picked me... He loves me... I know that now... Of course I have to remind myself of that everyday. But life is so much better when you can trust in someone who knows exactly what He is doing.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Its been a Year.
I purchased a new journal. I had filled up my last one. I enjoy writing in my journal. I love reading back. . . especially in my old old journals. Reading about things that aren't important to me now, but were so important to me then. Times have changed. My focus has moved from one end of the spectrum to the other. I enjoy where I am way more. I enjoy the satifaction I get from it. I enjoy the feelings I get from it. I am happier now then I was then. I am stronger now then I was then. I think I am more caring now then I was then. I have set my goals higher and I know they are achieveable. They are achieveable with what I have now. Its been a year since God placed himself in my life. Its been a year since my life has changed. A year of growing and moving, and moving back again. I have learned so much and I honestly can't wait to learn more. Life is better. Its better knowing you have a purpose. Its better knowing that if you truely want something it can be yours. My life got off track in the past month, but boy is it good knowing that regardless of the mistakes I have made, God's willing to forgive me. Life is short. I don't want regrets. I don't want past mistakes to be made again. I will try to be the best I can be. I have tried new things, and met new people. I have seen great loss, and been picked back up. This past year has changed me forever. Things have happened for a reason. Some reasons unknown. Perhaps I haven't figured them all out... I know why some people have been brought into my life, but others I may never know. Many have taught me things without even knowing. Showing me the way with out even noticing. Some have shown me what true love is. Some have shown me patience. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Timing. Timing is everything. I feel in the past year I was exactly where I needed to be. I was surrounded by the people I needed in my life.
So here's to a new journal. A journal to be filled with prayers, and quotes, and thoughts. God is great.
So here's to a new journal. A journal to be filled with prayers, and quotes, and thoughts. God is great.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Midterm. Taxes. And God's Reassurance.
I am sitting at school typing this from my cell phone. I just got finished with my first college midterm. Boy am I got that its over... It definetly wasn't hard... just alot of memorizing terms. Something that I am not very good at. I just never have been a good memorizer. Now song lyric those are something I can memorize.
College gets better and better everyday. It even got better when I found out I got the Federal Pellet Grant. And let me tell you that money couldn't have come at a better time... It just reminded me how great God is... I went from one day wondering how I was gonna pay for school to the next day having my next two quarters covered!
I went to my small group yesterday, and it was so great to be back. I hadn't been in so long because of basketball, and now that basketball is done I can get back into my old routine. I let things get in the way of things that have meaning. Not that coaching basketball wasn't a great experience, one that I plan on doing again and again, it just take up a lot of time... I will just need to learn how to balance it better next year.
I am going to get my taxes done on Friday, and I can't wait to see how much money I get back. I am hoping its enough to pay down my credit card, and take a trip either to Arizona with my cousins or to Missouri to see my friend Stephanie. Its all up in the air right now.. I just want to go somewhere during Spring break. Get away for a while. See places I haven't seen before, do things with fun people. I am really hope I get enough money back. If not that's ok too...
I have noticed lately that I haven't had time for any of my friends. Some of templates I haven seen since the end of December. I haven't had time for my own family seeing them late at night when I get home from work/school/basketball. I am ready to get my life back. Get all the things that are most important to me... I think God lets you go off track, so you can realize just how important He is in your life. And how important its is to be surround by positive people and and positive things. God has a reason for everything. That's what I love about Him. I never have to worry (now doing that all the time seems impossible)... I try my hardest to leave it in God's Hands. Which is a complete turn around from how I used to be...
College gets better and better everyday. It even got better when I found out I got the Federal Pellet Grant. And let me tell you that money couldn't have come at a better time... It just reminded me how great God is... I went from one day wondering how I was gonna pay for school to the next day having my next two quarters covered!
I went to my small group yesterday, and it was so great to be back. I hadn't been in so long because of basketball, and now that basketball is done I can get back into my old routine. I let things get in the way of things that have meaning. Not that coaching basketball wasn't a great experience, one that I plan on doing again and again, it just take up a lot of time... I will just need to learn how to balance it better next year.
I am going to get my taxes done on Friday, and I can't wait to see how much money I get back. I am hoping its enough to pay down my credit card, and take a trip either to Arizona with my cousins or to Missouri to see my friend Stephanie. Its all up in the air right now.. I just want to go somewhere during Spring break. Get away for a while. See places I haven't seen before, do things with fun people. I am really hope I get enough money back. If not that's ok too...
I have noticed lately that I haven't had time for any of my friends. Some of templates I haven seen since the end of December. I haven't had time for my own family seeing them late at night when I get home from work/school/basketball. I am ready to get my life back. Get all the things that are most important to me... I think God lets you go off track, so you can realize just how important He is in your life. And how important its is to be surround by positive people and and positive things. God has a reason for everything. That's what I love about Him. I never have to worry (now doing that all the time seems impossible)... I try my hardest to leave it in God's Hands. Which is a complete turn around from how I used to be...
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